Author Archives: stephenschrum

Wrong Number (1)

I’ve written a lot about the wrong number texts—someone sends a message to a friend but has entered the number incorrectly. Oh, no, sorry, but can we be friends? I used to have fun improvising with them, but lately they’ve been taking a darker turn. And so have I. This week I’ve gotten about 12Continue reading “Wrong Number (1)”

I Hereby Resolve…

A few years back I read an interesting article on New Year’s resolutions. The author suggested that, instead of resolving to do more in the coming year, one should do less. It’s like the scene in the movie Birdcage when they are turning the apartment into a straight-looking residence, and Val says, “Don’t add; subtract.”Continue reading “I Hereby Resolve…”

Trippin’ in the Board Room

First, sing the title of this post to the tune of “Smokin’ in the Boys Room.” Now: some years ago I came up with the theory that advertising agencies were administering hallucinogenics to their employees; to me, this could explain conclusively the bizarre imagery and surreal Dali-esque logic that permeates modern ads. Finding a noteContinue reading “Trippin’ in the Board Room”

A Secret About Eggs

Here’s a secret absolutely no one knows about me: I don’t like the taste of eggs. I’ve never revealed this to anyone, from childhood to retirement. Until now. As a child I would only eat the white part. Eventually I started eating the yolk. But I never liked eggs. Many people have seen me eatContinue reading “A Secret About Eggs”

Disrupt (v.) Disrupt!

Among the words that recently I’ve come to detest from overuse are “unprecedented” and “broken.” And now it’s time to add “disrupt” to the list. I understand the desire to shake things up. I’ve never been a fan of the static status quo. And I know you have to stir the pot in order toContinue reading “Disrupt (v.) Disrupt!”

Whistling Backstage, Dark or Not

There’s an old tradition that one does not whistle backstage in a theatre. Like most theatrical traditions, you don’t question it, but nevertheless  I often wondered about it. And for years I taught the reason for this in my Intro to Theatre course; I don’t know if I read this, or just made it up,Continue reading “Whistling Backstage, Dark or Not”

Ah, Travel? Big Deal…

While on a cruise to Greece, I wrote the following: “Here I am in Greece. Amazing, but that usual phenomenon of ‘Here I am!’ And then: ‘Big deal.’” What I’m referring to is the state of mind that seems to always happen to me when I travel internationally. I get very excited by the prospectContinue reading “Ah, Travel? Big Deal…”

One Really Bad Purchase

When I was a young teenager, I was really into cars. We would go to the Thomasville airport to watch the NHRA drag races (from a distance, at the end of the runway). I subscribed to car magazines and devoured them. At one point I even thought I might go to Vo-Tech and learn toContinue reading “One Really Bad Purchase”

And It Continues…

Awhile back I was posting a lot of these “wrong number” texts and my improv’d responses to them. A friend suggested that the origin of those might in fact be AI bots, but I don’t think it makes it less funny or tragic. Take these two; their approach is slightly different but I responded theContinue reading “And It Continues…”