Jokes About Jesus

Okay, just one.

One of my favorite jokes comes from the wilds of West Virginia. 

One day, Jesus walks into a bar, nods to the bartender, and selects a barstool at the far end of the establishment. 

One of the patrons, sitting at the bar with his arm in a cast from a recent break, signals the bartender to come over. “Is that Jesus?” he asks. The bartender nods. “Send him a drink on me.”

After the bartender delivers the drink, a second patron, his leg in a cast from a recent fracture,  waves the bartender over. “Was that Jesus?” he asks. The bartender nods. “Send him a drink on me.”

As Jesus is sitting there with two drinks in front of him, a third patron, wearing a back brace, raps his cane on the bar for the bartender to come over. “Is that Jesus?” he asks. The bartender nods. “Send him a drink on me.”

Jesus finishes his drinks and is ready to leave. He walks over to the first man, says, “Thanks for the drink,” and touches him on the arm. The man’s break is immediately healed.

Jesus walks over to the second man, says, “Thanks for the drink,” and touches him on the leg. That man’s break is immediately healed.

Jesus then walks over to the third man but, as he reaches out to touch him, the man pulls away and says in horror, “Don’t touch me, man, I’m on disability!”