Christmas in…June?

I often hear about Christmas in July. It prompts sales and advertising, and people celebrate it because it seems they just can’t wait another 5 months (although retail establishments start displaying stuff in October, even before Halloween).

My question is: why don’t we have Christmas in June? The weather would be so much better and travel wouldn’t be disrupted due to icy and snowy conditions. Do we really need a white Christmas, when a sunny Christmas would be so much nicer? Why freeze a caroler’s butt off when they can sip a mint julep instead of shivering over a hot chocolate?

I can’t see any good reason why the church people decided that Christmas should be celebrated in December. There’s no biological reason for it, since we don’t have the Jesus birth certificate. I know that the date was chosen to co-opt a pagan festival, but the church missed the Winter Solstice by 4 days anyway; why not choose June 25, and distract from the Summer Solstice instead?

My cousin Bill had a union warehouse job, and every few years their contract would be up and they’d go on strike. There he’d be, outside in the snow, with his picket sign, standing by a 55-gallon drum with fire inside of it, trying to keep warm. I would always ask, “Why not renegotiate the contract for x.5 years, so it would expire in the summer and you could work on your tan instead?” But they never did change.

Sure, we might have to change some song lyrics (“Chestnuts roasting on an open grill,” a sleigh might be an ATV, etc.) and some activities (ugly Christmas tank top or swimsuit?), but that seems a small price to pay to enjoy a holiday in balmy weather.

This is from someone who absolutely hates the cold, in case you were wondering.