Selfish Self-Centeredness

What personality trait in people raises a red flag with you?

This may seem an odd things for me to complain about, since I have often been accused of it myself. Growing up as an only child with few friends, I spent a lot of time alone, so I did focus on myself a great deal. When you read my works or listen to my podcast, Audio Chimera, they too seem to be about me (although they do say you should write what you know!).

At the same time, I don’t think I’m a selfish person. I can be very generous, with my time and occasionally my money. But I see others who are the exact opposite, and who can’t get out of their own psyches to care about others.

I recall a colleague one day trapping me in the hallway, talking a monologue at me for about an hour. Looking at my watch didn’t impart any hint; he took no notice of my gesture. Then, suddenly, when he had reached a stopping point in his diatribe, he looked at his watch and said, “Well, I have to go,” and walked off. No “thanks for listening”—but then again, he would do that to everyone. (When he’d be called on to speak at a faculty senate meeting, the sound of eyes rolling rivaled that of the balls on league bowling night.)

I’ve also spoken to people who are very free with their life stories, telling every excruciating detail of their many jobs and career successes. It seems that, if they really had all those jobs, they should be about 135 years old.

Worst of course are the sociopaths. Everything revolves around them. I was asked by one if I was coming to an event he was hosting, and I said no. His answer? Not “We’ll miss you” or “Sorry you can’t make it.” It was, “Well, I’ll forgive you this time.” As if my mental well being was dependent on his sanctimonious dispensation.

Should anyone accuse me of selfish self-centeredness, I simply recall that my personal perception of myself is more like the placement of the Earth in the Milky Way galaxy than they are in their personal universes.