Carol, You’re Fired

Songs get so easily stuck in my head. When I was in Dublin, after a cabaret performance, I had “Sweet Molly Malone” playing on an endless loop. The chorus of “Alive-O” literally kept me awake most of the night.

Christmas time is the worst. When stores begin playing the songs so early they start to drown out “The Monster Mash“ that is my earworm for the spooky season, I know I’m in trouble.

Recently I attended a holiday event where Christmas Music Bingo was a featured event. I always thought I would be good at Music Bingo, since my brain is a storehouse for thousands of songs, many of which just play randomly in my head. Ah, to put that to good use!—and not have to resort to cheating by using a music app that identifies song and artist, like someone at my table did.

At first the DJ threatened to play each song in its entirety, but there were going to be 5 rounds and we would have been there until Whitsuntide (which is after Easter). So he’d play the first verse, and maybe part of the second verse or part of the chorus to keep it moving. And on the second time around for my least favorite carol, I came up with this blog post prompt: What’s your favorite and least favorite Christmas songs?

If you know me, you might expect that my top three favorites are all proggy songs. At number 1 we have Greg Lake’s “I Believe in Father Christmas.”

Next on the list is Jethro Tull’s “A Christmas Song.”

The third is a bit of a joke. I like this song version because it’s a ridiculous take on the song, and it reminds me of how I felt in Catholic grade school when the nun played the “The Little Drummer Boy” over and over so we could learn it for the Christmas pageant. All we’d sing was,” Rump a pump pum,” and she told us if we weren’t going to learn it we wouldn’t be included in the pageant. That sounded like a good deal to us, and this was my first brush with failure being rewarded, something we see happening all the time in the corporate world. Regrettably, I can’t include a link to the song, which Spotify classifies as “X-Mas Death Jazz.” Rump-a-pump pum! [Cymbal crash!]

And now for the winner of our discontent! It’s been years in the making because I have heard so many Christmas songs (and different versions of some) for years. But the award goes to Paul McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmas Time.” Why do I dislike it so much? It’s just so repetitious, with that one line repeated as often as “Hungry Like the Wolf” is in that Duran Duran song. And no, I wont link the video here. It’s already on automatic replay in my head for at least the rest of the day. (The Duran Duran reference did nothing to exorcise McCartney.)

So in the comments: tell me what are your favorite and least favorite Christmas songs?