Fudge That Grudge

There’s a list of restaurants and businesses that I won’t return to, usually because of bad service. The Buffalo Wild Wings that made a cock-up of our post-show reservation, had poor and slow service, made my meal in 5 minutes when I complained after waiting an hour, and then the “manager” “explaining” that the problem was that they were busier than expected. It’s a restaurant on a Friday night; you didn’t expect to be busy?

And while I advocate such boycotts (like the anti-masking-during-Covid garden shop), I also advise not holding grudges. As I have often said, “You don’t hold grudges, grudges hold you.” They waste time and psychic energy that could be better spent on more positive thinking. Too often the grudge-holder mounts a hamster wheel of thoughts and, while running full-tilt, finds themselves going nowhere.

Incidentally, I’m not saying “forgive and forget.” I think that’s very difficult for many humans. Just dial it back. If it has to remain on the stove and keep cooking, put it on the back burner on the lowest simmer setting you can. If you can’t let go entirely, at least it won’t boil over.

I know I have some knee-jerk reactions from experiences in my youth. I describe this in a poem called “Ten Year Old Boy,” about the one who lives inside me and gives me a kick on occasion. It’s one of the reasons I have trouble dealing with bullies as an adult, because I remember them from my childhood. But that’s usually just a blip on the radar, and doesn’t hijack all my conscious thought. I know it’s difficult, but not impossible, to let go all the real and imagined slights, and move forward.

Do you have any suggestions for moving forward? Let me know in the comments, and please like and follow!